Who is Margreet Kwakernaak? Though teachers have to answer many questions, they seldom have to answer this question. The role of the teacher is to help other people to learn and not to focus on themselves.
I was born and grew up in the beautiful town of Delft. My father was as well a teacher of German as well as an assistent director at two schools: one at daytime and the other one at night. My mother rose the 4 children (3 boys and 1 girl) and run a very well organised household. My father was mild, my mother was strict. I think I have both characteristics.
After secondary school, I left home to study in Amsterdam. I studied Spanish language and literature at the University of Amsterdam and, in the evening, arts at the Gerrit Rietveld Academy.
During the first 21 years of my career I always have been teaching Spanish as well as handicrafts and drawing. After 21 years of unruly teenagers I left secondary school to continue teaching Spanish at an adult school. It was the work with adults that I really liked and I started Suitcase talen in Almere, with help from my partner. As we both had jobs during daytime, we started with English and Spanish evening classes.
I am a workaholic but my partner was not, and Suitcase talen was the end of our relation. I moved to an industrial estate in Almere Muziekwijk. In the first year a was responsible for the construction of a building of 436 M2 and as soon as it was finished, Suitcase talen started growing. With a team of 20 free lance teachers Suitcase talen offered English, German, French, Italian, Spanish and Russian to employees of the international companies in Almere
In 2002 we started experimenting with Dutch. I did the intakes and sometimes had to replace my teachers, and with some extra schooling and help of my collegues, I learnt to teach Dutch. It was not difficult after teaching Spanish for so many years.
When I got a new neighbour, an instruction pool for children, hell started. 7 days a week there was the constant clapping of doors of many cars, on the parking places of the building where I worked and lived, on weekdays form 8:00 until 21:00 and in the weekend until 16:00.
In 2006 I wrote the first of 7 textbooks on Dutch, Dutch for Dummies. I loved to dive deep in this writing task during the weekend, after my daily organisational and managing work.
In 2007 I was happy to rent my building to gemeente Almere. Long before I moved to the actual location in Almere-Haven, I had decided to stop managing and that I wanted to have a small school and teach rather than manage other teachers.
And so it happened that the smaller Suitcase talen became, the better got its reputation. My decision to specialize on highly educated students, finally, after 15 years of not feeling at home, reconciled me completely with Almere. Interesting students, Almere becoming a real town with good sport facilities, a growing international group- I love to provide you with quality classes for now and the near future.
When I was teaching psychology to college freshmen one of the questions I often asked my students was “what is your favourite color?”. Soon enough after they answered that question, I then proceeded to the next question, WHY?
How about you? what is your favourite color? Why do you like it? What about that color that speaks to you?
Perhaps we can also use another question, when out on a date and your partner asks you, where do you like to eat? Or what? How much of a struggle do you have with making such a decision?
Now let us put it on a bigger scale, when was the last life-changing decision that you made? How long did you deliberate on it? How did you come about making that major decision? How did you know that it was indeed the right choice?
The ability to weigh options and make decisions are skills that as adults we sometimes grapple with. But if we look closely to what those skills are and the building blocks that are needed for them- one essential factor is present. These skills are based on our ability to introspect.
Some people might think that time used reflecting on one’s self is time wasted. But nothing could be further from the truth. Knowing yourself and having awareness of yourself is very important. Introspection and its byproduct, self-awareness are essential to any decision-making (be it small or life-altering), focus, prioritization and action. It is the reason why there are a lot of self-help and psychology books aimed at finding and knowing one’s self.
Another way that we can emphasize on the importance of introspection is through this activity. Think about a behaviour that you do quite easily or naturally, like opening a can of soda. When you pull the tab, what else do you do? Do you put the tab all the way back or do you let it up? Why do you do this? Habit? How did it become a habit? How did the daily things you do become so? How did you form thoughts, ideas and ideals about friendships? About justice? About parenting? About anything you value? There must be a reason why you cry foul over certain issues, or why you say, there are certain issues that you can let go. Introspection is the core in which we learn to understand ourselves better.
Now let’s do another scene and this time consider other people, when was the last time you paid attention to the way your child think? Hopefully not in a belittling way, but seriously, when did you say to your child, I like how you think? Or I like how you solved that problem? It can even be as simple as “I like how you did that”
These questions are essential in teaching children that not only are we aware of their actions, we are also “present” as parents in our interaction with them. Asking these questions and saying these dialogues open up the opportunity for children to be reflective as well. Asking themselves, “what did I do? What did I come up with? What did I solve?
Perhaps as adults we tend to think of children specially younger ones as not fully capable of introspection because if we think hard about it, when do we really see the first signs that children can reflect on their mental state? Children’s ability to notice and reflect on their own mental states and experiences, and go further up a notch, be able to attribute such states to others, seem to be too big to expect from young children. UC Davis researchers Simona Ghetti, assistant professor of psychology at UC Davis and Kristen Lyons, a graduate student in psychology at UC Davis proved this notion wrong with their studies on metacognition in early childhood.
Their study showed that preschoolers aged 3-5 are capable of pointing to a photo of a confident-looking face when they felt confident that they had the correct answer to the question gave, and, they were also able to point to a photo of a doubtful looking child when they were not as confident with their answer.
This study provides a clear picture of how children use introspection, showing them more capable of such a skill than what we gave them credit for. Results of the study showed that children can introspect about their doubts or more specifically their awareness of their uncertainty for that moment.
Wouldn’t it be grand if, children grew up mastering such a skill? Self-awareness is a prerequisite for a wide range of milestones and decisions. For example, how to choose the best career? Or why get into a relationship with someone? What can you do to make yourself happy? At the heart of all these questions is our ability to introspect and find the answers.
Like with adults, children need the tools to help them hone their introspective skills. Here are some dialogue prompts that you can try at home to start engaging your child in thinking about his/her thinking:
What makes you say that?
What are you thinking?
How did you feel?
What could this person be thinking?
What could this person be feeling?
What made you excited today?
What was the best part of your day?
What was the least that you liked about your day?
Why do you like it? (best followed by what makes you say that?)
Tell me something that made you happy today (use the other emotion words like frustrated, sad, angry)
Remember, that as much as these prompts are for your child/children, it is also for yourself. Find the time to share your thoughts with your child or the entire family during family conferences. Let everyone know what you are thinking and feeling and make it visible. Through this children realize that the chatter that goes on in their head is pretty normal and sharing it with their family is important. It also gives each other the opportunity to talk about not just what excites them or makes them positive but most importantly the deep, dark and ugly thoughts that keeps them awake at night and uncertain. Self-awareness is also about building self-esteem and by being able to share these negative thoughts, we also give our children the chance to reflect on their fears and face them.
Lana is a child development specialist focused on sharing her expertise with parents on engaging activities to do with young children at home. She is also an education consultant that emphasizes on the importance of using gifted pedagogy in the regular classroom. She writes in her blog Visibly Engaged issues that parents and teachers can relate with and shares articles that they can benefit from. Lana also recently opened her webshop Smart Tinker that promotes the use of educational toys and how it promotes multiple intelligences (M.I.)in children. She is currently writing a book on how to promote M.I. at home through simple yet engaging activities.
Meet Greg Shapiro, International comedian, actor and author, and long term sufferer of ‘Multiple Nationality Disorder’. Greg recently visited Almere with his ‘Greg Shapiro Presents : Brendon Burns’ show which gave audiences a taste of what was to come on November 7th – Superburger, The man with split nationalities! – where he discusses at length his struggle with MND, Dutch culture and also his new book, ‘How To Be Orange’.
1. The Netherlands is an interesting country to live in – what’s your favourite part of living here?
Biking! I love the fact that our family car has 2 wheels, and you don’t necessarily have to spend half your day in a car just to get your daily work & shopping done.
2. Do you describe yourself as an expat, and international, or something else?
I’m an expat. I’m the textbook definition. I came from Chicago, moved to Amsterdam – and stopped.
3. What advice would you offer to a complete stranger who wants to move to the Netherlands?
Do it! it feels foreign and familiar at the same time. Especially if you’re from the US. The Dutch have a history of individualism, capitalism, liberalism. So many factors that define America actually started here. I feel much more at home than I’d ever expected.
4. What has been your biggest challenge since moving here?
The Dutch language is an aesthetic car crash.
5. If you had to leave tomorrow, what would be the one thing you would take with you?
My beautiful, blond, half-Dutch family. And stroopwafels.
6. What is your favourite Dutch tradition, and how do you celebrate it? Do you still celebrate holidays and traditions from your home country?
Can’t wait for Queen’s Day to become King’s Day. Someday, I hope to take part in the tradition of sticking your head through a big target and yelling at Dutch people until they pay money to throw eggs at you.
7. You describe yourself as having ‘MND – Multiple Nationality Disorder’. Tell me a little more about that.
It’s about moving to a different country and getting culture shock – but also getting culture shock when you get back home. It’s about Dutch people who’ve lived abroad, moved back and don’t recognize it anymore. It’s for the 3rd culture kids with multiple passports. When you never feel 100% at home anywhere – that’s ‘Multiple Nationality Disorder.’
8. You mention in your book about speaking Dunglish – and being fluent in ‘Google Translate Dutch’. Tell us about a time where your Dutch went horribly wrong…
I once did a performance in Dutch about what a humiliating experience the Dutch language is – for the speaker and the listener. I tried to get my all-Dutch audience to realize that their language is an aesthetic car-crash, and – as a civilization – they deserve better. They didn’t get it.
9. Most of us who come here have to do some level of Inburgeringscursus to maintain our residency. What was the most useful or interesting piece of information you learned in your course? What was the most useless?
The most interesting bits of my assimilation course came from the unexpected quarters, like when the woman from Turkey explained that the headscarf was banned when she was growing up so that – for her – when she wears a headscarf in the Netherlands, it’s not a symbol of oppression, but a symbol of liberation. Still, the instructor told us on the exam just write ‘symbol of oppression.’
10. Finally, you’ve visited Almere, you’ve filmed a movie in Almere … tell us your favourite part of Almere!
I quite liked the show I did at the top floor of the World Trade Center. Flevoland is a modern miracle, and you can see the whole thing from up
We all know the lady behind the numbers and the money at International Almere, but how well do we really know her? Find out more about Sarah!
Where were you born?
I was born in Maidstone, Kent, England in 1973, yes that makes me 40 very soon.
Where have you lived?
I spent a few years living with a friend in Belton Lincolnshire, this was to save me travelling every weekend to party and drink my weekends away, this was the rebel years of my life, I never went to uni so this was my time to be wild.
Where can we find you online?
Contact with me is easy, I can be found on Facebook, yes I have a mobile phone but most of the time its switched off, that’s not normal I here you say, but I like it that way.
Almere is an interesting and unique city to live in, describe your favourite part of living here.
We came to Almere as my partner Kay brought a apartment here, he brought it just from plans on paper, we came over to see the progress of the build about every 12 weeks, he lived in Ermelo at the time with his parents and I was still in the UK, his sister lives here so we knew what we was coming to, Kay gave me the key to the apartment after I had finished doing a 5km race of life event for cancer around my local park, in them days I was fitter and thinner.
Almere is a good place to live for us as Kay works in Amersfoort so the train takes his strain on the daily commute, there are lots of nice places within 1 hour drive and you can be in Germany or Belgium in 90 minutes. Camping is a big part in our lives so it perfect to be so close to major motorway links. Kemphaan is great and there are many open parks so there is no need to stay in the concrete jungle.
Where is your favourite place to go out or eat out in the city?
Eating so is not something we do very often, but the places we enjoy are an the Van de Valk hotel live cooking and brunch, Yamas and Athene in Tussen de vaarten.
Would you define yourself as an expat, an international, or something entirely different?
Expat or international, well for me not any of these I just think of myself as a Brit living abroad.
How long do you plan on living here for?
I think that we are pretty much staying here for a long as I can see, Kay’s works in the private health care insurance system and we don’t really have that in the UK so he would need to find a job there doing something else that pays good money, travel cost and flexi working hours. We have our apartment for sale at the moment, we will stay in Almere.
Tell us how you found International Almere?
The way I found International Almere was via a friend of a friend, I never really used computers before I came to Holland, so had no idea of Google, search engine etc, My friend came to visit her friend who lives in Amsterdam so I went to meet them both for lunch, she told me them about a group that she was in and to join up, so I came home found the web site and asked to become a member, I was asked to write a small piece about myself, so that’s what I did, I had many welcomes and hello from people but the only person that lived in Almere was Connie, She told me come meet the local group on Friday night at Jordaan, This took me 2 months to pluck up the courage to go, that night I took my partner for support, I arrived at the place went to the bar to order a drink and then stood there with my dumbo ears trying to listen for the English people, I was nervous and really wanted to leave but then in came Connie all bubbly so I made my move to introduce myself, I was introduced to the small group of woman, lucky for me I was not the only new person that night so it was a bit easier, our partners went to another table and chatted together as at that time it was no men allowed. I enjoyed by evening and everyone was nice and friendly, one person stood out the most Gina smith, as she comes from the same town as me in England but we have never met before, so I have never looked back and have enjoyed many a night out.
Have you been to any International Almere events? Which was your favourite?
I have been to most of the events that International Almere host, I don’t really have a favourite as they are all good in there own way and you always meet new people.
What advice would you offer to others who are thinking of taking the plunge and moving to Almere?
My advice to anyone reading this is to come along and meet us all, it’s a big step at first but really we are all in the same position and making friends helps ease the journey. Trust me there is someone here that you can connect with, if the first night you don’t find them, just keep coming they will be there in the end. I would not have stayed here if I didn’t make good friends at the group.
What has been your biggest challenge since arriving in Almere?
The biggest challenge for me when I moved here was not working, I worked a lot in the UK and enjoyed my work very much, so sitting at home was not my thing, and the hardest of all was on a Sunday when back in the days when I arrived nothing was open, supermarkets , shops all closed, and I was used to just going out shopping on my days off. I now work at Letterland international school doing the lunch duty, and I have been treasurer for this group now for just under 2 years.
If you had to leave tomorrow and could take only one thing – anything – from Almere, what would it be?
I would take sate sauce as Kay can’t live without it!
What is your favourite Dutch tradition, and how do you celebrate? Do you still celebrate holidays and traditions from your home country?
Dutch celebrations are not really done in my home as we don’t have children, and Kay’s family do not do anything apart from birthdays when I have to go and sit in the circle, and eat cake. Christmas for me is the best I have a big tree and love to decorate my home, I have spent only 2 Christmas days here and not really enjoyed either, so sorry I go home to my family and open my presents, and then enjoy shopping in the sales after.
Family is the biggest thing I miss from home, but I am lucky as I can get home very quickly if needed, and I have a special tariff on the phone so I can call for only 10 cents for as long as I like .I got my 74 year old father to use Facebook so he can also keep tracks on me and look at my photos. Marks and spencers is now here so I can get some home comfort food when I feel the need.
This is a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot, but only now have I found (hopefully) the right way to put it into words. The question I’ve been asking myself is whether expat women experience more judgment than women who don’t live abroad. I think there is no definite answer to that question, but I’ll try to look at this from different perspectives.
First of all, women (and oh yes, men) everywhere get judged and shamed every day. I don’t know anybody who didn’t experience being judged at some point. Especially when you’re a mom, suddenly the whole world is watching you, to see whether you are raising your child “the right way”- whatever that means.
In case of expat women, on top of the regular parenting judgment, there is judgment based on cultural differences. Different cultures have different ideas of how a child should be raised, and expat women often raise their children differently from societies they live in- which again results in judgment. Schools, languages, friends, the topic of integration are also all common to expat women, and may also be a source of judgment.
Then, I think that expat women may experience judgment on more than one level. For example, they may be judged by people from their countries of origin, their new home country (and by their husband’s country) and by the expat community, all at the same time. Many women, who are already struggling with their new life abroad, may find this really hard. On the other hand, expat communities are often very open-minded, tolerant and less judgmental.
Then, it may depend on your country of origin. So, you may feel more or less judged, based on where you come from and where you moved. If you felt judged in your home country, you may be relieved and empowered by not feeling the social pressure anymore. It may be more difficult for you if it’s the other way round.
Another aspect is the subjective feeling of being judged. So often we feel judged even though the other person doesn’t mean it that way. Especially if we’re already struggling with some aspect of raising children, an innocent comment can make us feel judged and unsure of our decisions. Expats (and women here are no exception) often feel like outsiders wherever they go. Hence, judgment may not affect them as much- because they have learned to cope with it.
So, are expat women judged more? I don’t know. While writing this, I have realized that the problem is not in being an expat or being a woman. The problem is in judgment. So, maybe, I should ask other questions: Why are women being judged? Why is anybody being judged? How can we deal with judgment? And what can we do to stop it?
Do you have any ideas? Have you felt judged as an expat? How did it make you feel, and what did you do about it? Please share your experiences in the comments!
[box size=”large” border=”full”]Meet Olga Mecking, our regular contributor at International Almere, who is an expert in multilingual life in the Netherlands.
Olga is a Polish woman, living in the Netherlands with her German husband and 3 trilingual children. In the past, Olga has lived in several countries (including Germany, Canada and the Netherlands), and learned to speak 5, that’s right, 5 languages.
She studied German philology at the University of Warsaw, then followed by a MA in Media Cultures at the University of Bremen. Olga blogs at The European Mama and we recommend you check her out on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.[/box]